Mule Trends

Today was the day to mail the Christmas cards, and on the way back from the post office I decided to stop off at the supermarket to get a few things. Actually, more than a few things. I quickly wrote out a list:

liquid soap
mule trends
paper towels
peanut butter
BBQ sauce
cups
water
sugar
milk
chicken

Wait a second…mule trends?

When I jot things down quickly my handwriting is indecipherable to anyone but me. I’m usually pretty good at reading my own writing. Even if I can’t make out all the letters a couple of important letters will be easy to read and I can figure out the rest.

Mule trends. No idea.

I tried a bunch of word combinations to see if something rang a bell:

Mole Treats?
Meat Trucks?
Mess Times?
Mute Teams?
Mueslix?

When I got home – just as I was going up the stairs with the groceries – I realized what it was.

MOUSE TRAPS.

And I need them. So now I have to go back to the store tomorrow. Sigh.

New column up at The Saturday Evening Post. Have a great weekend.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I had this whole long rant composed in my head, about social media and how the online world is ruining so much these days, including all the reactions to last night’s Peter Pan Live (which I loved – the production itself and the fact that NBC is even trying things like this) and how snark and cynicism seem to be the default position and how people can’t simply enjoy things anymore…but I really don’t want to write about all that right now unless I want to get a headache that 27 Aleves couldn’t cure. But stay tuned. I’ll post it at some point.

Instead, I’m currently finishing up the December re-launch issue of The Letter (it will be in your mailboxes in a week or so) and getting into the Christmas spirit by listening to Dean Martin and lighting the pine candle for the first time.

(By the way, DO NOT ADJUST YOUR BROWSER OR CALL TECH SUPPORT. Yes, it’s snowing on this site. A special effect for the month of December to give the site a Christmas feel. Have a great weekend.)

Today Only!

Everyone else seems to be having sales and discounts and deals this weekend, so I decided I will too. Buy a year’s subscription to The Letter by midnight tonight and get it for only $6.00! That’s 50% off! Makes the perfect Christmas gift! (If you already have a subscription, let someone else know!) Can I possibly use more exclamation points?!?

12/1: Update: sale extended until midnight tonight!

Strange

It’s that time of year when our televisions will soon be filled with reindeer, snowmen, commercials for cars with giant bows on them, and a jolly man in a red and white suit. You can also find bionic men, talking human waste, and little girls with weird spots on their faces. They’re all part of my new piece at Esquire, 11 Strangest Holiday Specials and TV Episodes.

Update: I had planned to have the new Letter in your mailboxes last week but…well, you may have noticed when you checked your mailboxes that it wasn’t there. It’s turkey week and I don’t want to rush one out now, so the next one will be for December, right around the second week. Thanks for your patience (again)!

And Happy Thanksgiving.

Caffeine

There’s a woman at my supermarket giving out free samples of coffee. The line she’s using to get people interested enough to come over to her table to try it?

“Hello. Do you like good coffee?”

I wonder what answer she expects? “Oh God, no, I HATE good coffee. I like drinking terrible coffee that I don’t particularly enjoy!”

I didn’t want to get into a conversation with her – I really don’t drink coffee – so I turned my cart around and went down the aisle to buy…well, tea actually.