Thursday, October 28, 2004
OF COURSE, AFTER CRYING, I DID MANLY THINGS, LIKE READ PLAYBOY AND WORKED WITH POWER TOOLS IN MY GARAGE
OK, I admit it, I cried a little last night.
I almost made it without shedding a tear. The game was
over, the Sox had won, the trophy had been presented, and the only
emotion I had shown was a huge "yes!" that must have woken up my
upstairs neighbor, and the huge smile on my face.
But then FOX had to end their broadcast with the song
"At Last" and scenes of the team winning the game and celebrating. Damn
you clever, emotionally stirring montages!
This whole blog entry could be a list of cliches that
everyone is using right now ("the curse is over", "we've waited 86
years for this", this is for Bill Buckner and Jim Rice and Yaz and
Pesky and Williams and Remy…", etc), but there are plenty of places
to read that. Besides, anyone who uses the "curse" thing is just an
incredibly lazy journalist looking for an easy angle for a story (and
fuck you Dan Shaughnessey for pushing the dumb myth in the first
This is probably impossible for anyone outside of New
England to understand. Sure, there are facts that can be mentioned that
can make someone in another part of the country understand it on a
certain level. But that level is cold and detached and simplistic. Like
someone reading a sports history book and saying "that's interesting."
Simply put, this is the greatest sports event that has ever happened in
New England. More than the Patriots winning, more than the New
Englanders involved in the '80 Olympic hockey team victory, more
than…anything. In fact, I can't think of any event, even non-sports
related, that could be bigger than this. I mean, really, in the long
run, who gives a shit that the Democratic National Convention was held
here? And that whole "liberty" thing happened a couple of centuries
When I was 10, 11, 12, 13 years old, I played little
league baseball. I loved the game in general, but the only reason I
actually made the effort to go down and sign up (seriously, I could
have happily stayed home and watched the Three Stooges) was because of
people like Fred Lynn and Carl Yaszstremski. In fact, my position was
left field, not because I was particularly adept at that position, it
was because that's where Yaz played. In 1975, I cried my eyes out when
the Red Sox lost Game 7 to the Reds. I sat there with my jaw around my
knees when Bucky Dent hit the homer and Nettles made that last out in
'78 (and it didn't help that Yaz was the last batter). In '86…well,
let's never talk about that again.
In fact, let's not talk about any of that crap again.
THIS is the season that every other season was building up to. This is
so intense, so surreal, so beautiful. It "feels" so right, like a
bookend that holds up all of the other Sox teams of the past. It's like
a novel or film that ends in a satisfying manner, instead of one of
those twist or downbeat endings that leave you feeling used or
unfulfilled. It's breathtaking. The 9 year old me, the 13 year old me,
the 25 year old me, the 39 year old me…we know that everything's ok
now. Those decades spent in front of the TV, decades saying "wait til
next year," weren't spent in vain.
And now I can watch that Nike commercial, the one with
the shots of Sox fans over the decades. At first I thought it was too
long and weird. Now I'm glad that just by coincidence, because of other
shows I had to record because of watching the series, that I have it on
Oh, and the Yankees suck.
posted @ 5:21 pm
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
THE LITTLE PURPLE LIP-SYNCHER
Come on Nexium, sign up Ashlee Simpson already, will ya?
posted @ 1:32 pm
Thursday, October 21, 2004
OF COURSE, IF THE CARDS WIN TONIGHT, THIS WHOLE JOKE IS KINDA LAME
So, has anyone noticed that if the Astros meet the Red
Sox in the World Series, we'll have yet another aspect
of the presidential campaign to add to the mix? Kerry
and the Sox are from Massachusetts, and the
Astros/Bush are from Texas.
The Cards could very well win tonight, but an
Astros/Sox match up seems only natural in this
campaign year, eh? Maybe Bush and Kerry could make a
side bet like the mayors of baseball cities do. If
the Sox win, Bush has to give Kerry a case of pretzels
to choke on. If the Astros win, it's free ketchup for
everyone in Texas!
posted @ 3:22 pm
AND THE ANSWER IS…
Team Of Destiny!
posted @ 12:33 am
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
ANOTHER EXTRA INNING GAME, ANOTHER NIGHT OF GOING TO BED AT 1 AM
You know, the Red Sox are either the most incredible,
most hardworking Team Of Destiny (TM) that has ever played the game, or
the biggest prickteasers in history. Not sure which.
posted @ 12:19 pm
Monday, October 18, 2004
I REPORT, YOU DECIDE
Went to Border's over the weekend and read through Bill O'Reilly's new book The O'Reilly Factor For Kids (what, you think I'm actually going to buy it?). Some choice quotes:
"Sure, your breasts are becoming more prominent…"
"A pinhead is a kid who brags about how much money she has…"
"This very strong work ethic has prepared me for what I do today and has brought me success and big money."
"[It's wrong] if you find that you are getting your values about family life or school life from a TV show."
"And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called karma."
posted @ 1:34 pm
Saturday, October 16, 2004
TODAY, IN THE CROSSFIRE, TUCKER CARLSON…
It's not every day that someone calls Carlson a dick. At least not publicly.
posted @ 11:01 am
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
A BIG BABA-BOO BOO
So Howard Stern is going to Sirius Radio. To paraphrase
Senator Palpatine, "now the FCC's failure is complete!" Satelittle
radio enters the mainstream, the stock skyrockets, and it starts to get
the attention it deserves.
But here's the boo-boo part: why the hell is there a giant ad for XM Radio on Stern's site?
posted @ 12:50 pm
Tuesday, October 5, 2004
SO MANY DISTRACTIONS…
So, a lot of readers are probably wondering, "Bob, what
are you reading and watching and listening to when you should be
working on your novel?"
Book: The Los Angeles Diaries,
by James Brown. Wow. I'm not usually blown away by a book instantly,
but this one did it. It's a memoir, about his struggle with drugs and
alcohol since age 9, his parents, and the suicides of his brother and
sister, with essays that read like short stories. Tragic, devastating,
yet beautiful. (Oh, and I think I might have to say this: it's not
James Brown the singer or James Brown the football player – he's a
Music: Tahiti 80.
The CD "A Piece Of Sunshine." Not sure where they're from – France?
Britain? – but the music is outrageously catchy. A mix of 60s pop and
soundtrack music and…I don't know, something. Funky yet smooth. Great
TV: The Fairly Oddparents.
What a clever, well-done show. It's on Nick, but most of the stuff is
for adults. The episode where he goes inside the internet to retrieve
an e-mail before his teacher gets it…just brilliant.
posted @ 3:22 pm
Monday, October 4, 2004
SOME HOT POCKETS, SOME POTATO CHIPS, A LITTLE TURKEY, A LITTLE VEAL, EGG NOG, A BUNCH OF COOKIES, AND MAYBE A POP TART OR TWO
In this week's Professor Barnhardt's Journal, a bunch of writers talk about their favorite foods.