Dear Sullen Teens Who Work At The Grocery Store

Dear Sullen Teens Who Work At The Grocery Store,

I know it’s really hard to bag those groceries, because you’re thinking about all the stuff you could be doing, like playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas or smoking weed or hanging out some place, and I know you think the world sucks and that your life won’t get any better than this moment (trust me, it does), but is it really too much trouble for you to not throw my glass bottles into the little plastic bag?  In case you didn’t learn about it in science class (possibly physics class but any basic science course will give you this info), glass breaks, and those thin plastic bags really don’t give any support or cushion to the bottle.  Basically, if you throw the bottle from the height of, oh, say 13 inches, it’s really like you’re dropping it onto a table directly, and you wouldn’t do that now, would you?

And I know that you probably get sick of asking 300 customers every day "paper or plastic?" (I would too), but please don’t assume that I want plastic.  One of these days I’m going to buy about $700 worth of groceries, and after you assume I want plastic and you spend 20 minutes bagging all of those $700 worth of groceries and put them in my cart, I’m going to wait until you’re done and then look you in the eye and casually say, "oh, could I have paper?" so you’ll have to re-bag them all.  And I’ll laugh and laugh on the car ride home.

Oh, and could one of you please empty the carriage corrals in the parking lot so I can actually fit my carriage in there when I’m done putting the stuff in the car?  Thanks.

One thought on “Dear Sullen Teens Who Work At The Grocery Store

  1. As a former “bagboy” at a supermarket, you would qualify for one of my special “watermelons on your loaf of bread” tricks.
    I once lost control of a row of 50 carts as I crossed a 4 lane road… at 5-m. Can you say “traffic jam?” People used to take their carts to the apartment complex across the streeet… after spending their $20 worth of pennies on lottery tickets and smokes.
    Did you notice all the baggers are usually “special needs?” I wonder about myself.

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