The Boy Who Hated Summer

There are only three things I like about summer:

1. Tennis

2. Baseball

3. It eventually ends

I know that this probably puts me in the minority, but I dislike summer with a passion. The humidity, the tourists, the bugs, the humidity, wearing shorts, parades, the laziness that seems to engulf everyone, the TV season is in “reality mode,” the humidity. Give me November any day.

How can anyone really, truly like this weather? I really don’t get how people live in Florida.

I’m not talking about people who like “nice” weather. The people who live in Southern Cal or go to Hawaii or the Mass. coast to vacation. I’ve been to Hawaii and I get the appeal (at least for 10 days anyway). But I don’t get people who actually prefer the hot, humid days of June, July, and August to the cool days of October, November, and December. The local news is the worst. They lead off every newscast with the HEAT WAVE headline, and then when the weather segment comes on and there’s going to be a change in the weather (70 degrees…oh my Christ it’s practically winter!), all the talk turns to “don’t worry, the good weather will be back on Tuesday.” Tell me, on what fucking planet is 70 degrees not good weather? In fact, 70 is still too warm for me. Give me 45 and I’ll be happy.

I think next year I’m going to move to Northern Canada for the summer.

I think it’s funny that the people who love the heat of the summer spend most of their June, July, and August doing…what? Trying to stay cool. Air conditioning, pools, the beach, cold drinks, water slides, open hydrants, the walk-in cooler at the local package store, whatever. If it’s so good, why not just sit back and bake in it without trying to cool yourself down?

I wrote something in the old Notebook in ’01 that I’ll paste here because it fits this week too: “Sweaty, shitty, ugly weather that robs your body and soul of ambition and energy. I’ve been standing in my doorway, with the side of my body facing the two windows above the television. I’m trying to get a perfect stance to capture a soothing crosswind, but the wind only comes every 5 minutes or so. There’s no air at all. Just a stifling wall of heat and dread that makes me long for October.”

If I had a Livejournal, my mood would be “pissy,” and I’d have a little frowny face placed right…about…here.

2 thoughts on “The Boy Who Hated Summer

  1. Amen, Brother Bob! I hate summer as much as you. My theory is that in winter you can always put on an extra layer of clothing to stay warm but in summer you can only peel so much off before you have to remove your flesh.
    Give me 65 or 70 degrees and sunny everyday with no humidity… San Diego with out all the Republicans if you must… or October in New England.

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