Oh The Weather Outside Is…

…cold. It’s unbelievably cold.

You read that and you probably think I’m complaining. Oh, I wish this damn winter would end! Actually, no. I love the winter. I love the cold. I love the snow and the early darkness. I wish winter would last forever.

That’s not true. I don’t wish winter would last forever. Even someone like me who loves winter would never wish that. For one thing, winter wouldn’t be special anymore. What makes me love winter and fall is the fact that for part of the year it isn’t winter or fall. When September comes around and you’re sick of the heat, the cool fall comes around and makes everything better. It’s the differences in the season that make you love a particular season.

It’s like not having anything bad in your life. If there wasn’t anything bad, then there wouldn’t be anything “good,” right?

Anyway, it’s cold. Tonight’s low is supposed to get down to -5. The high tomorrow will be around 12. And it’s going to be like this for several days. More snow this week. Or as they’re saying, a “wintry mix,” which sounds like a type of festive seasonal snack that Planter’s would put out. Cold, ice, snow, rain, sleet. It’s all coming, and I don’t mind it at all. I guess that’s the attitude you have when you work from home.

In other news, PEOPLE ARE MORONS.

I went shopping at the supermarket, and I was happy to get a parking spot that didn’t have any cars on either side of mine. When I came out with a cart full of food, those spaces were taken. Not a big surprise, but I always hate it when cars park too close to my passenger side door because I won’t be able to get my groceries into that side of the car (that’s the side that’s closest to the sidewalk when I take the groceries out of the car when I get home). But I had plenty of room to get the groceries in the car. I was happy and I pushed my car into the carriage corral.

When I went to get into the car, I saw that a white Sentra was parked really close to the door. So close that I couldn’t even get into the car. And this wasn’t one of those situations where it was really close to the door but I could get in if I just…took…my…time…and…was…careful. Their passenger side door was practically touching the driver’s side mirror. Couldn’t get in at all. I looked around in vain to see if anyone was coming to the car. A woman a space over saw what was happening and offered a “good luck” to me.

I had to take all of the groceries off of the passenger side seat so I could climb over to the driver’s seat. And this isn’t a 1966 station wagon with one giant seat in the front that would make it easy to slide over. These are two separate seats, with a stick shift and a big arm rest/cup holder thing in the middle. I whacked my head on the roof but I made it over.

Put it this way: the car was so close to me that I couldn’t even back out of the spot. I had to wait a few minutes (luckily not longer) until the people in front of me pulled out so I could just drive forward.

Heavens to Murgatroyd, people are morons.

When the snow comes in a few days — we’re supposed to get that wintry mix on Wednesday — I don’t wish that this person gets into a bad accident. But I do hope that he accidentally locks his keys in the car when it’s snowing and he’s coming out of Dunkin’ Donuts with 4 cups of coffee and he has to either walk home or call AAA. And it would be good if he forgets to take his car off the road during the snow emergency and it’s towed to a lot and it’s a real inconvenience and he’s late for work and his boss yells at him.

If the car isn’t towed, I hope a snow plow piles snow 12 feet around his car and it takes him 90 minutes to shovel the car out, and when he clears all of the show away he sees that there’s a parking ticket under one of the windshield wipers.

Around $35.00 would be good.

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