Me vs. The Swiffer

Apparently I have the strength of the Incredible Hulk.

I broke my Swiffer. OK, first, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about the handy floor mop thing. I was cleaning the kitchen floor when suddenly the top part of the mop handle – where the button is, natch – came off in my hand. Don’t make me angry, Mr. Swiffer. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

I wasn’t even doing anything odd with it. I didn’t have it at a weird angle, I didn’t jerk on the handle really hard, I didn’t bang it into the wall or drop it. I was just using it the way you’re supposed to use it. You know, CLEANING THE FLOOR.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Swiffer anyway. It’s such a great idea – an all-in-one mop with less mess and no hassle – and for the first few times you use it, it’s great. But then the sides of the part that hits the floor start to get all worn and gunky and the pads start to either stick or not stay on as you move them across the floor. And then one day the handle just snaps in your hand and you stand there with a floor that’s only half-mopped and you don’t know what to do.

The button that controls the cleaner that squirts out actually still works. The wires inside the handle didn’t split or anything so I can still press the button, though it’s hard to hold both pieces while squirting out cleaner and holding on the other part of the handle. Right now I have it all taped up but I know that’s not going to hold. So the next step is to buy a new one or get a regular mop and bucket.

Or maybe I’ll just carpet the entire apartment. Then again I’m obviously so strong I’d probably just break the Hoover too.

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