Advice to Graduates

1. If someone says to you that your high school or college years will be the best of your life, run away from these people as fast as you can. That’s just depressing.

2. Save money. This may seem like a no-brainer, but trust me: having money is a lot better than being broke.

3. Good credit is more important than love. You’ll find love eventually, but if you mess up your credit you’re screwed.

4. If you are never fired from a job, you probably won’t be a success. You really do learn as much from your failures as your successes.

5. “I’m really not sure what to do next” is not a reason to go to graduate school. You’re just going there to hide from real life.

6. Don’t be one of those people who constantly talks about their grades, athletic success, or anything else that happened in school. People stop caring about this stuff one hour after you receive your diploma/degree.

7. If you find yourself in jail, act crazy. The others will stay away from you.

8. Your parents are smarter than you think. This doesn’t seem true now but it is (disclaimer: unless your parent is Britney Spears).

9. Working is usually better than not working. See #2.

10. To high school graduates: when you get to college, you will meet a lot of assholes. After college too.

11. Move out of your hometown. And if you need/want to stay in your hometown, live some place else first and then come back to it.

12. Don’t read comment sections on blogs. You’ll just end up hating yourself and everyone else.

13. “But I was drunk!” is never a good excuse.

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