Tennis, anyone?

Flies. I hate ’em.

For some reason I can’t quite figure out yet, my house has become a rendezvous point for every fly in the neighborhood. I looked over towards the front door and noticed five or six flies all gathered in the upper left hand corner of the outside screen door. So I opened the door quickly and they all flew out. I thought my fly problem was solved but…no. I’ve had to do this 10 times a day for the past week.

Is it possible they’re magically transporting into my apartment from the Enterprise? Damn Romulan flies!

I investigated and found a whole batch of flies basking in the sun of the four windows above my television set. They weren’t moving they were just sitting on the blinds and the glass, like they were on vacation, enjoying the days of the summer before they have to go back to school or back to their humdrum jobs of, I don’t know, flying around garbage dumps and outhouses.

So lately my part-time job has been to spray, swat, and get rid of the flies in any way possible. This is yet another reason I hate, hate, hate the summer. In the winter, all the bugs will be dead!

But it’s not interfering with my tennis watching (though I did kill one that was sitting on the edge of the television). The U.S. Open started yesterday. It’s one of my favorite TV events of the year. If I were to choose my most cherished TV-watching memories – if people actually choose such things – watching the U.S. Open would be one of them.

Some people might remember that it actually used to air all day and night on USA Network. Before they welcomed characters, they welcomed tennis players.

It’s hard to imagine USA Network doing anything like that now, filling up every single minute of the day and night for two weeks with coverage of a tennis tournament, but they did. But then ESPN got it, which I guess makes more sense. It’s a very special, unique thing. If you don’t like tennis you might not “get it,” but I say the same thing about football. If you don’t hate tennis but still rarely watch it on television, watch one of the late night matches the next two weeks.

The other favorite TV-watching I’ve had? Watching TV with my mom (The Price is Right, Wheel of Fortune, Guiding Light); watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family (I’m a child of the 70s) on Friday nights with my sister after going to the store down the street and buying a giant bag of Marathon Bars and potato chips and soda to eat; the CBS Saturday lineup when I was a kid (All in the Family, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Bob Newhart Show, The Carol Burnett Show); and watching Star Trek: The Next Generation with my roommates around 1990-91 (they were in college and I was many years out of school – I’d convince them to watch TV or play tennis when I could). I can still pick out specific episodes of The Price is Right that I remember vividly. There are lines from The Brady Bunch I can still recite (not to mention those damn songs they did in those episodes where they suddenly became a music group for some reason), and I remember the very position I was sitting in when Riker said “fire” at the end of “The Best of Both Worlds,” the episode where Picard became a Borg.

You can really organize your life based on what you were watching on TV during certain years. I think that’s what a lot of us do these days, which probably makes us different than people who lived many decades ago.

One last tennis note: Maria Sharapova has her own line of candy out called Sugarpova. (Yes.) That got me thinking: what other tennis stars could put their names on a line of snack food? How about a chocolate and nut combination called Kim Clusters? Andy Pretzel Roddicks? Bryan Brothers Double-Chocolate Ice Cream?

And of course, there would be Mardy

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