Baby, it’s cold outside (and I feel fine)

We were promised a rather large amount of snow overnight. Opened the door at 6am and there less than an inch. The ground looked like the powdered top of a dessert. Didn’t even have to shovel. I think the wind blew most of it off the stairs.

But it is cold. I’m not going to say “too cold” because there’s no such thing as too cold for me. Why? Because I’m not a mailman or a construction worker and I’m not homeless. Let me explain. (Warning: weather rant ahead.)

I hate summer. I love fall and winter. One of the reasons (of many) is that you can’t escape humidity. Don’t say there’s always air conditioning because, a.) there isn’t always air conditioning (I haven’t had a/c in 20 years), and b.) apartments and homes don’t come with a/c (think about it – all apts and homes come with heat built-in but you have to put in the a/c yourself). It’s stifling and gross and exhausting.

You have more options with extreme cold than you do extreme heat. If you’re really cold, you can go inside your home. Still cold? Throw on a sweater or turn up the heat. Or maybe make a cup of coffee or tea and get under a blanket on the couch and read a book and watch TV. The summer? You marinate in your own sweat until you pass out or get cranky. Someone once said to me “if you like the cold so much why don’t you go outside in shorts and a tank top and sit in the snow?” That’s like me saying, “hey, if you like the heat so much why don’t you put on a coat and hat and gloves and go sit on the beach in the middle of August?” Meaning, I would never say it. Because it’s stupid.

Have you ever been sick in the summer? It’s awful. I’d much rather be sick in the middle of January than the middle of August. You feel better when you have hot soup and tea. No one’s getting better eating a salad.

Winter has fireplaces and hot cider, summer has fans and umbrella drinks. Winter wins. (Bonus: no gross flip-flops in the winter!)

If you’re a New Englander and you hate the fact that there aren’t enough warm months, you should be something else (I think they’re called “Floridians”). The local meteorologists  – and to be specific instead of general, it’s WBZ, WCVB, and WHDH I’m talking about – all seem to enjoy snowstorms because it gives them something interesting to do, but they hate the cold. The news anchors hate the cold. Every single one of their banter segments talks about how “bad” it is when it gets really cold (45 degrees) and how they “can’t wait” for a warm-up and the joys of summer. I’d like to see one – just one! – meteorologist say to a news anchor complaining about the cold, “actually Betty, I love the cold. It’s January, it’s supposed to be cold. There’s plenty of time for the rancid humidity of summer, so let’s not complain about it. That’s why God made Gore-Tex and hot chocolate. Now here’s the 6 day forecast…” But they’ll never say that.

I’m not even 100% convinced that the anchors and meteorologists all hate the cold as much as they say, rather it’s a combo of liking summer more as well as trying to appeal to what they think viewers want to hear. Oh, let’s complain about the cold so we can empathize with viewers who hate it! Even in October they complain that summer is over and the temps have hit the unheard of level of 68!

I could also get into the non-weather reasons for liking the fall and winter more than the summer. The holidays are better (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween), the TV is better, the movies are better, there are fewer bugs, more comfort food, and I sense an energy and good atttude with people that you just don’t get in the summer. I have a theory that everyone is more tired and lazy and annoying in the summer than they are in the fall and winter. I haven’t proven this scientifically but if anyone reading this wants to give me a grant so I can study it further, send me an e-mail.

Rant over. The Letter is on its way to subscribers! Have a great week.

5 thoughts on “Baby, it’s cold outside (and I feel fine)

  1. The sun blew the snow off the stairs??

    And maybe houses in New England don’t come with A/C, but they do in lots of other places. 😀

    Don’t you love readers like me who pick things apart? 😉

  2. I’m a summer girl, through and through. I love the heat and the sun and the ability to go to the mailbox without putting on all the clothes I own. In the summer, I laugh at the sissies who can’t take a bit of heat. In the winter, they laugh at me, because I turn into the wussiest, whiniest crybaby on the planet.

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