Presidents and Potato Chips

Presidents’ Day – and I can never remember if that word needs an apostrophe or not, and if it does where it actually goes – is one of those weird holidays where you’re not even sure if it’s a holiday or not. You’re probably working, the stores are open, and there are no gifts involved. Unless you bring a date to see Lincoln and buy her the extra-large box of Raisinets.

I went grocery shopping at 7:30 this morning, and I found out what goes on at the supermarket that early. I parked the car and as I was walking to the door I noticed that all of the cart corrals were empty. There were many carts directly in front of the store but there were still dozens and dozens missing. I didn’t think about it again until I hit the next-to-last aisle (paper goods, water, pens, and for some reason dog and cat food too) and saw that there was an entire row of carts in the aisle. I actually had to push them out of the way to get to the paper cups. In the frozen section, the same thing, only there were so many carts lined up against the doors with the frozen vegetables that I couldn’t move them. So I didn’t buy any vegetables. I will sue the store if I develop a niacin deficiency.

Honestly, people who work in supermarkets, if you need to put the carts inside the store for some weather-related reason, line them up out back. If you need to use an aisle, use a wide aisle and put them down the middle. Sure, we might have to maneuver around them but at least we’ll be able to reach the Birds Eye.

I did buy the new Lay’s (apostrophe?) chips though. They’re having a contest where fans came up with new flavors (winner gets a $1 million or 1% of sales for the rest of the year). I bought the Cheesy Garlic Bread and the Chicken and Waffles (yes). Verdict? Both were actually pretty good. I wouldn’t eat them with a sandwich, but they were good for snacking. The CGB had the garlic and cheese and butter flavor you want but were a little overwhelming after a while. The CAW I expected to hate but they were actually not bad. Maple syrup hits you at first then a slight waffle-ish/chicken taste. I would never buy these in place of, well, normal potato chips but they’re a good once-in-a-while diversion.

I didn’t buy the Sirachia Serachia Sriracha flavor because I believe that potato chips shouldn’t be that hard to spell.


Thanks to everyone who has subscribed to The Letter so far. First issue is coming later this week!

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