1. I think the biggest revelation in this story (caution: NSFW) is that Guy Fieri actually needs a hairdresser.
2. Edamame are the new green peppers. Can frozen food companies stop putting these things in my dinners? Green peppers are bad enough – companies try to make us think it’s such a great, positive thing to have green peppers in frozen dinners when in reality you know they just have warehouses full of the damn things and they want to get rid of them – but edamame ruins everything.
3. Actual People headline: Which Avril Lavigne Do You Prefer: Classy Avril or Sassy Avril?
Jesus. People makes Tiger Beat sound like The New England Journal of Medicine.
4. Here’s a phrase you never hear anymore: “Paper says it might rain.”
5. I have not had a trick-or-treater at my house since the late 90s. But Happy Halloween anyway!
(By the way, I sent out the first Letter a couple of weeks ago. If you subscribed and didn’t get yours, send me an e-mail.)