Leftovers

1. Thanksgiving tally: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, cranberry sauce, 3 rolls, 12 cookies, 6 brownies, 3 pieces of pie (apple, mince, Boston Cream), and a handful of various crackers (all washed down with Diet Coke because I’m trying to eat healthy).

2. At dinner I told a joke (via Rob Lowe on The West Wing) that nobody appreciated, so I’ll repeat it here:

Three statisticians go hunting. The first guy shoots and misses 10 feet to the left. The second guy misses 10 feet to the right. The third guy jumps up and says “I hit it!”

*crickets*

3. It really is true: people now no longer know how to communicate, think, play, relax, or even exist without their smartphones.

4. Every single newscast I’ve seen the past week says that retailers are worried because there are 6 fewer Christmas shopping days this year. This is insane. It’s only true if you start your Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving and not the week before or a month before or some time before that. There are still 365 days in a year, right?

5. I saw a guy in the supermarket parking lot wearing shorts. Temperature: 38 degrees.

6. You’ve seen the series of Comcast commercials with the turtle couple. Here’s the latest. After you watch it, a question:

So the turtles have a human nephew? How the hell does that work?

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