You can freeze them you know

The following took place – where a lot of things that happen in my life seem to take place – at the supermarket.

I was buying some Thomas’ English muffins (I’m a nook and cranny guy). The cashier rings them up and she obviously puts in the wrong price because the total is wrong. She sighs a couple of times, trying to figure out how to correct the mistake, and then finally asks me, “These are on sale, buy one get one free. Do you want to run and get another one?” I’m sure this pleased the woman who was behind me in line. I say no thanks, one is fine. She doesn’t say anything and after a struggle corrects the amount on the register. I run my card through. Then she says this:

CASHIER: You can freeze them you know.

ME: I’m sorry?

CASHIER: You can freeze them and they’ll still be good.

ME: Not if you don’t have room in your freezer.

CASHIER: [silence] [blinks eyes three times]

It never occurred to her that an individual might turn down a store’s offer to buy double the amount of food they need because that individual, a. will never eat that many English muffins before they go bad, or b. doesn’t have enough room in their freezer to store bags of English muffins they didn’t want to buy in the first place. Look, I’m obviously an adult because I’m bald and need to lose weight and I’m using a credit card, so I’m quite capable of deciding whether I want to buy a second package of English muffins, thank you.

I almost wanted to say to her, “how am I going to fit a package of English muffins in my freezer when I already have so many animal parts in there?!” but decided against it.

Now, some people (maybe even you) might think that I’m being too hard on her, that she was just trying to help me get more English muffins for free or maybe just making conversation. I don’t think either was true. She was irritated by the fact that I didn’t want to grab another package, causing her to have to take some time to correct the mistake she made on the register. If I ran back 8 aisles to grab another package she wouldn’t have had to figure out how to correct the mistake. Then she tried to make a point by saying “you can freeze them you know” and couldn’t understand why I didn’t bite.

I’m not a buy-in-bulk guy (probably because I’m single). I’m not going to go to Costco and buy a 5 lb. jar of pickles or a 1000 count box of Q-tips. I’m not going to start buying extra bread so I can freeze it or jar preserves or buy 3 bottles of ketchup because “it’s on sale” or “it’s cheaper that way.” If that means that I have to pay full price for another package of English muffins the next time I’m at the store then so be it. That’s a risk I’m willing to take.

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