I swear I had planned to have the next Letter out before Thanksgiving. I swear to you. I even had a great Thanksgiving-ish recipe that I was going to include with it (courtesy of Vincent Price, of all people). But now I’ll have to include that recipe in the Christmas letter. Luckily most Thanksgiving dishes can be switched over to Christmas without anyone knowing (though the opposite isn’t always true – if you show up at someone’s house on Thanksgiving with cookies in the shape of Santa Claus people might say “Aren’t you a little early?”).

So what happened? Laziness I just got too busy and time got away from me. It will be out the second week of December.

On a related note – related because we’re talking about letters and this song title has the word “reply” in it – I recently discovered to my horror that I’ve been singing one of my favorite songs wrong for the past 30+ years. Nothing makes sense anymore.

It’s not “all the excess here,” it’s “all the exits sealed.”

Have a great Thanksgiving! I’m thankful for patient subscribers.

Completely Random

1. The irritating thing about being fired from a writing job is that I have to update my bio page again.

2. The problem with going back in time to kill baby Hitler – the problem with all time-travel scenarios including Back to the Future and Star Trek – is that if you go back in time and change history, then that thing didn’t happen, and if it didn’t happen, how did you know to go back in time to do it in the first place? Here’s my favorite take on the subject:

I know, I know, blah blah parallel timelines, blah blah multiverses. If that’s your argument, well, that’s what the comment section is for.

3. The other day someone on the street asked me for 29 cents. Not a quarter, not 30 cents, exactly 29. My first thought was maybe they wanted to buy something and they were exactly 29 cents short and didn’t want to be greedy. But now I’m thinking he knew people wouldn’t have 29 cents and would just give him a couple of quarters or a buck. Street psychology.

4. Does anyone else love this time of year, when it gets dark early? I seem to be in the minority but I love it when it gets dark at 4:30. The sun going down at 9 just makes me depressed for some reason, and I’m well aware that’s the opposite of how most people feel.

5. Reminder: I have a new piece in the print edition of The Saturday Evening Post.