Some days you’re not sure what you’re going to write about, and then you make a trip to the Stop & Shop.
I’m going down an aisle, minding my own business, shopping cart full of chicken and potato chips and rice pilaf and Metamucil, and I decide to grab a gallon jug of spring water. I immediately notice that the safety tab is missing. In other words, it’s open. I obviously don’t want any customers accidentally buying it because they didn’t see it was open so I take the gallon jug and put it on the floor in the corner.
I go to the register – like most days at Stop & Shop the place is packed and they only have one register open and there are nine people ahead of me and they refuse to open another register, which is a rant for another day – and I tell the clerk about the open water jug that’s on the floor. He says OK and thinks that maybe someone dropped it on the floor and the cap came off and they just left it on the shelf. I tell him that the cap’s not off, somebody actually took the plastic safety tab off of it. He sarcastically says “Oh, you made it sound like the whole cap was off!” Actually, I didn’t make it sound like that at all. You just assumed. And you know what happens when you assume.
This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to point out something at this store, and it’s getting to the point where I shouldn’t even bother, but that doesn’t hurt the store at all it just hurts any potential customer who might buy something they shouldn’t.
Of course, I have no expectation that they’re actually going to remember (or care about) the open water jug. It’s not really important to them. So in short: if you go to a certain Stop & Shop in Massachusetts – a “Super” location, though that point is debatable – and find a gallon of water on the floor, check to see if it’s OK.
Before I leave the clerk asks me if I have my Stop & Shop discount card. I don’t have a Stop & Shop discount card. I’ve had the same exact conversation with this clerk at least 25 times in the past year. You know you can save money with the discount card, right? Yes, I’m familiar with the concept of “discounts” and “cards.” I just don’t want to bother with another damn card in my wallet. Also, every other clerk at this store puts in the store card for customers that don’t have them. You don’t. Why, I don’t know, except maybe because you’re a douchenozzle? Every time I see this guy at the register I want to go to another but today…well, see the third paragraph above.
Luckily there’s a Shaw’s in town. I like shopping there. They take care of things when you point something out to them, they got rid of their discount cards, and they open a new register when everyone’s ice cream starts to melt.