I wasn’t dreaming last night when the meteorologist said we were going to get a dusting or “maybe an inch” of snow.
I don’t know what happened in the atmosphere between 6:15pm last night and this morning, but I woke up to the snow coming down hard, a few inches on the stairs that needed shoveling, and one of those RED ALERT automated phone calls from the mayor saying that we need to watch out for coastal flooding and wet basements and general weather danger. Then there was the crunch and munch, the sound of a car hitting the island in the road right outside my front door. He knocked down the stop sign but he’s OK.
Just now a meteorologist said this storm was “overachieving,” which is the best euphemism for “we were wrong” I’ve heard in a while. I’m going to use that the next time I’m wrong about something or forget to pay a bill on time.
I sometimes feel bad on days like this, because I work from home while other people have to commute to work in the snow and the cold and the traffic. Sometimes I feel bad. But since I’ve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Remind me never to go shopping just two hours before a popular local sports team plays in an important playoff game.
Imagine the day before Christmas mixed with an upcoming apocalypse: parking lot full, every store employee wearing a jersey, swarms of people buying potato chips and candy and soda and every other food item you might buy to watch a sporting event on television. I ran into someone I went to school with and she asked, “Hey Bobby, loading up on snacks for the game?” I smiled and laughed, though really what I had in my cart was just what I buy every Sunday. Another reason I was smiling is because the only people who ever call me Bobby are family members and old girlfriends, and perhaps people who think I’m a child actor from the ’40’s.
Where is the Letter that I promised a couple of weeks ago? You may be asking that question as you check your mailbox daily and see nothing but bills and catalogs and coupons. The answer: it’s right next to me here on the coffee table. Look for it next weekend!
New column up.
Warm, rainy winter days: 3
People who don’t return shopping carts to the corral: 0
Earbud-type earphones: 2
Cuts on fingers where a Band-Aid is too cumbersome to wear: 0
John Dickerson hosting CBS This Morning: 10
Pea soup: 0
People who never check their voice mail: 1
Highlighter colors other than yellow: 5
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
Yeah, nobody is ever going to want to look at a screen all day.
Tonight’s a chili night. Notice that I didn’t say it was a chilly night, though it is indeed a chilly night. But it’s also a chili night (but not, just to make things clear, a Chile night).
We’re supposed to get up to a foot of snow tomorrow. Bitter cold temps, really high winds, coastal flooding, possible blizzard conditions, followed by more cold and ice. The gas station down the street is more crowded with cars than I’ve ever seen it. I have all of the important items you need for a storm: candles, batteries, rock salt, and hot chocolate, so I’m ready. Though I better finish my column before the power goes out.