Here are the things I haven’t done the past few weeks (besides update this site):
– sat on my couch
– worn sneakers/shoes
– worn jeans/pants I have to zip or button
– bent down
– lifted anything over 10 lbs.
Don’t worry, I haven’t joined one of those weird religions that doesn’t let its members associate with couches or sneakers, I had an operation. It was my birthday and I thought, “what gift can I get for myself this year?” And the answer was obvious: surgery.
(No big deal, everything’s fine.)
I’ve spent the past few weeks in a leather reclining chair. I’ve been doing everything from this thing: reading, eating, watching TV, working on the laptop, even sleeping. I’ve become one with a piece of furniture. My summary of my experience with it is this: it’s fine to sit in but it’s deceptively uncomfortable to sleep in overnight.
If anyone at CBS is reading this, I’m available to write one of those buddy procedurals you seem to like, about a detective who solves mysterious crimes without leaving his reclining chair. He can even have a smart female sidekick who helps him from a reclining chair next to him. It’s Elementary meets Ironside. We can call it… The Recliner.
By the way, the birthday was number 53. But 53 isn’t one of the big birthdays like 16 or 21 or 30 or 40 or 50 or 65, so forget I even mentioned it.
Every once in a while, I like to post a “hey, wanna give me some money?” plea. This is one of those once in a whiles.
I’ll be blunt: a writing career isn’t what it used to be. Or maybe it is exactly how it used to be, which is the problem. I need cash. Not just for the usual life purposes but also because it costs money to maintain this site and the pop culture blog Professor Barnhardt’s Journal. Not a lot, but enough, and I want to start adding new things: a podcast, video, and more. So I guess what I’m asking is, if you enjoy the sites, maybe you can donate a buck or two to help keep everything going? A little goes a long way. And if you give $8 you get a year’s subscription to The Letter, a handwritten or typed letter I send out quarterly via snail mail. (If you want to give even more, well, I’m certainly not going to argue with you!)
Of course, if you can’t give anything, that’s fine too! These sites will always be free (there’s a free book too!). I appreciate each and every visit.
But if you can, just click the Donate button on the right. You can give via PayPal or a credit card, and it’s all safe and secure. You can even set it up so you can give something automatically every month, if that’s something you’d like to do.
And thank you! (Oh, by the way, if you’d like me to write something for you, please get in touch.)
The Middle ended its run earlier tonight so I thought I’d link to the piece I wrote for Esquire a while back. Such a great show.
1. It’s about the feeling first.”
2. “Free thinking is a super power.”
3. “A diamond is forever.”
4. “Enjoy the present.”
5. “Infinite possibilities.”
6. “Be all that you can be.”
7. “You deserve a break today.”
8. “Thousands of possibilities. Get yours.”
9. “Think outside the bun.”
10. “Break the normal.”
11. “We’re all kids.”
12. “Remove worry.”
13. “Today is the best day and tomorrow is going to be even better.”
14. “Trust your feelings.”
15. “Open happiness.”
Continue reading “Kanye Tweet or Advertising Slogan?”
Dr. No: 8
From Russia with Love: 8
You Only Live Twice: 7
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service: 7
Diamonds Are Forever: 5
Live and Let Die: 6
The Man with the Golden Gun: 5
The Spy Who Loved Me: 6
For Your Eyes Only: 7
A View to a Kill: 3
The Living Daylights: 6
License To Kill: 9
Tomorrow Never Dies: 6
The World is Not Enough: 5
Die Another Day: 4
Casino Royale: 10
Quantum of Solace: 6
(Previously: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)
Spring has officially sprung here, and I know this because this weekend in my apartment I killed a bee the size of a Roma tomato.
It was somewhat cool yesterday but that was just a momentary blip. The warmer weather is fully upon us. Goodbye hot tea, hello iced. I really dislike these months but this year I’ve decided to just embrace it. Call it an experiment. I’ll wear shorts and not complain about it. I’ll drink cold drinks and sit in front of the fan on those disgusting humid days and not complain about it. I won’t complain that it’s daylight until 8:30. I’ll just decide to embrace everything that summer has to offer.
Except the bees and other bugs. I reserve the right to complain about those.